Monday, March 28, 2011

on the horizon

it's been over a month since i've written anything down, in this particular place. it's been a pretty crazy month. sure, i've thought about blogging, but sitting down and taking the time to do it was too taxing. now, here i sit, absolutely exhausted and wondering where the time has gone.

looking at my loft, you really wouldn't think i've spent a good portion of the past month and a half working my booty off. it turns out that sorting your possessions is both time-consuming and tiring. i have body aches, bruises, and cuts to attest to my work. honestly, i really didn't realize how much clothing i had amassed until it was all laid out on the floor, waiting to be tried on and categorized, and forcing me to maneuver around it. i have definitely been thinking in terms of keep, toss, maybe (but needs work). that sorting process has been spilling over to other parts of my life as well, and i've been quick to let go of things and people who add little to nothing to my life. if you read this, though, don't automatically assume that if i haven't connected with you in the past month that i'm ready to let you go.

in addition to all of the work going into my home life, i also unexpectedly started nannying again full-time at the beginning of march. the two little ones are so happy to be spending time together again (they're from different families), but it's a lot of hard work and long days. on the average full-time day, i'm putting in eleven hours of nanny work. this is a huge increase from the six hour days i'd grown accustomed to working for the past six months. on the one weekday i'm not working all day, when one littlest one is with his grandmother and the eldest one is in preschool for the morning, i started taking music theory/piano/guitar lessons. it's going very well, i think, and i'm proud of the progress i'm making, slowly but steadily. it's got the inspiration flowing as well, and i began working on a new song. i've been jotting down little lyrics and melodies for future songs, too. it's exciting to have yet another artistic outlet for myself.

early march also marked the beginning of the outdoor photography season, and suddenly clients are clamoring for my attention (an awesome thing... i can't even begin to describe how great that makes me feel). i photographed the first wedding of the season, and have also stayed very busy with portrait sessions as well. i photographed four sessions this month, and i have two more booked in april. i have done little to no advertising for this. i don't feel like i deserve it at all. most of them are repeat clients, and if you know anything about the business world... it means i must be doing something right.

the toll it's all taking on my body is profound. i am losing weight. i am eating more frequently, because my body craves fuel. i no longer rely on caffeine for a boost, and keep no more sodas at home. once i get going in the morning, i'm usually a relentless force until some sixteen hours later. i fall into bed, sleep hard, and wake up just refreshed enough to get going. lately, in the mornings, i've had to make a choice between taking a short nap (while the little one naps) or making further progress with some form of work (home, photography, or music). all but one morning, i have chosen progress.

so, where is the mention of new york in this? i'm almost halfway to the deadline i'd set for myself. i honestly have no clue whether i'll meet it or not. my life is very rich here, and though it ebbs and flows, i get the feeling i'm building something amazing right where i'm at. i haven't made a decision one way or another, right now, as to when and whether i'll end up in my city of dreams. right now, though, i think i'm going to go get a well-deserved massage before tackling the upcoming week.

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